my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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