Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
