Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
