Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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