Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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