Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
