I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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