I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Let's get the cat blown out
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