so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
