I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize