Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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