Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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