there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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