yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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