it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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