dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
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Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
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why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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