U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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