Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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