NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
