Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
This girl is more easily done than said...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I love you. Go after that dick
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
