In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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