if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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