Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
