Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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