I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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