Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
