And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
