Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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