he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
two words...techno handjob
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
