the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
