This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
