I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
