I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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