Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
