my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize