Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Let's paint friendship bongs
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
