Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
