I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
