We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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