If that was your dad, he is hot
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
