I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
