i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
