half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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