Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
