Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
