Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
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its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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