i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
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Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
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