How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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