Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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