Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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