Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
