you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
