Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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