Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
