Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize