so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
