Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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