So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
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The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
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The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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