Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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