Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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