and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize