So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Sorry about my life...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
