"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
