When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
