you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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