I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
